well, here i am soing the setting up for both of my friends..it all started when this guy asked for my help to find him sumbody to set him up with, so here i am, doing the thinking, and i thought of this girl, so then i started arranging plans and stuffs to get them together, it was honestly hard for me because the guy sounded too darn proud, he kept on telling me, "we're just going out, im not even going to court her" what the heck? that wasn't even the picture!!! i only had one thing in mind, and that is to see if things would work out between the two of them, i wasn't saying he should court the girl after!! duh!!! if then he likes the girl, then good, if not, then it's still ok, knowing they'd still be friends!!! we're all going out tomorrow night as friends and see if all things will work out fine. The thing that's really got me all riled up is that i think that the guy is so arrogant!! i mean he was the one who asked me a favor in the first place! i think in a way he thinks it humiliating for him to ask, but duh!!! he already did!! and i was doing the planning, the asking, the everything!! so why not just thank me instead of saying "im not going to court her" watever!!! he's so immature!! all guys are!! they are all so full of themselves!!! he could be a little more appreciative right?? i mean how bad could it be?? he's so weird!!! now, im really wondering if all my efforts are going to end up in the dumpster!!!

i just got home fom school today, ahh, brain drain..it sucks...but then i am thinking about my day today..what happened was i woke up 725 am for an 8 am class, well, of course late nnmn..5 mintes to fix my hair, brush my teeth, fix my clothes, my bag, as usual, so ayun, i have to run (walk fast) not to be late..and to think that we are the first to have a reporting that day in partcor!! i was really rushing on my way to school..i was angry at my mom for not waking me up earlier, but then i later realized that it was my fault after all for not putting the alarm...i got to my class just right on tym..but i didnt put on any make-up and my hair's a mess..all curled up and going onto the wrong places..a saw my epiphany that day..he said "hi" well, im cool with everything now, i think im recovering from heartache by the by..we're friends but i try to ignore him as much as possible, which is kinda hard since im having my class on the same room where he's having his next class..so we sort of meet up every th..i also try to prevent saying anything about him considering he's a sore topic and not a very interesting one...haayy..it's way over..so over..so other than that i had fun today, it was tiring and at the same time, my mind is exhausted...that micrec problem set!!! uuhh...well, that's about it...i guess..for now.. 4 exams coming my way: tues: econmet and intphil thursday: partcor and micrec2!!! good luck to me!!! pray for me!!

what am i afraid of?? failure..in exams, my studies.. yeah why? i ask myself that every single day, and in the end i end up thinking, i have to pass no matter what because passing invloves pride and prestige.. yes, u guessed it, im a very proud person..i hate not being in control of my own life, i don't want anyone to bother me, especially when im on my game.. as much as  possible i want to be striving, happy with what i have accomplished and what i have become. cause then id know im doing the right thing, i am making my parents happy because i strive to be a better person, in studying!!! c the logic?? wait, let me rephrase that..c my illogical point?? it's rather twisted, i know, but then that's the way my psychology works..

ever since i was little, everyone around me in school strives for a higher mark..why? because being called smart or intelligent is something to be proud of? there it goes again!! Pride!! is that the reason for why i feel like im grade conscious all the time?? another thing happened just recently, in school, everyone keeps on comparing grades! why is that? i wonder..are people around me just as proud as i am that they want to be called smart because they've achieve high grades in school? ok that's not even the point in studying in the first place...

im too scared..for no reason at all..i am a worrier of uneccesary things..im always scared...and i am lazy..sloth can sometimes be brutal!!! but who can deny sleep?? or ET!!!  so here i am, i havent been reading my econometrics..and i have a huge exam on tuesday...so anxious..anxiously dreading..not anxious excited mind you! too scared to be lazy at a tym like this..so wat i gota do now?? study duh!? hhmm..

valline, always the crazy best friend (it's been 10 years and running!! woohhooo!!) haha..as usual, the product of her boredom becomes a project of me (or neale, pero mas madalas c neale) thank God! haay..val's having a mid-college crisis in her life..as usual, being her best friend..i can relate..(waoh! how i can relate!!) ok, so here's my dilemma, eco-accounting's the course..yeah..(the sad nerdocks mwah!!) owell, moving on..so i guess ill be taking up the whole modular thing(it's an accounting program of lasalle na super deadly!!) haay..of course im dreading it..but hey, i was thinking that i am not going to go through that alone.. i have my super close blockmates to let us help each other out.and of course there's monix whose my closest friend in lasalle having the same course..ahh maybe it will be alright then..it wouldn't be that hard with all ur good friends there to help out...ok so here's the dilemma..monix's shifting out!! get it?? AAHHH!!! major AAAHHH!!! so im left with annie and the rest of my blockmates..so alone..i feel so alone in all this..there's too many what if's" in my mind..what if we're not groupmats in our eco thesis??!! what if my groupmates are freeloaders??!! what if i need someone to teach me something??!! what if ill be left out with no studygroup?!? yeah..i know..these things shouldn't be worried about in the first place..but owell, as you can see, im so worried!!! haah!! im forever the worrier of insignificant things..i know i so lack courage in believing myself that i can do it.. waahh..im just scared of the unknown..i don't know..yeah..just like val.. mid-college crisis is really happening!!!

just got home from school..and i think i flunked my first ever ecostat exam! its sucks! i hate that prof, he should've given us extra time. anyway, it's really a good thing dr. unite posponed our quiz for micrec this thursday to next week! haha..oh what fun! now, i'll have a grand time doin' nothing..again! what a life! what a waste!

just yesterday, monix, ann and caryl were talking about me, saying how "agressive" i could be when it comes to talking to my crush..FYI: not true! that, i believe, is the understatement of the year! i am not agressive..i know sometimes i stalk "planet-gowks", but i never got the chance into talking to him, or being agressive even! i only want to see him..that's all..he's like the best male dresser in lasalle! haha, so cute too bad he's got a girlfriend.. but what the heck, i only like him..what's the fuss? maybe i'm a little agressive, but i know my limits..i'm far from being a flirt, if that's what u'r thinking..haha it's not my fault if i've got many available sources wanting to tell me about him..i fish, i admit..ocassionally..haha

currently, i am feeling nothing whatsoever about him. i know i hated him before but right now im numb about it..it's like i don't care anymore what he thinks, what he says, and whatever his feelings for me are..i feel like a part of him in me doesn't exist anymore. he's  my epiphany in life, it sucks, but it's a realization of mine..it's a good thing i stopped hoping..i stopped caring..i'm numb about our whole situation..